Tinnitus
My life in music has gone through several phases, stages and chapters. The early years, from roughly ages 4 - 18, I was a sponge, consuming everything within earshot. Pilgrimages to record stores. Swapping albums with friends. Playing along to recordings. This, coupled with a bit of inherited talent, earned me an opportunity to play music full time with a paycheck and benefits. It was a blessing to be immersed in music while serving my country. My insatiable hunger for music continued, and along the way I bonded with other passionate musical journeymen, honing our craft, and broadening our skills. I also was able to study in a formal setting at Peabody Conservatory for a while. After more than twenty years in uniform, I retired from the Navy, and embarked on my career in civilian music. That journey included; Backing singers performing the Great American Songbook repertoire; Playing original music small group jazz, in both plugged and unplugged formats; Wearing tuxedos in high profile/high paying corporate agency cover bands (yes, the wedding band circuit); Dance clubs playing the after midnight shift with salsa bands; Fifteen years with a church praise team - a very interesting gig for a non-christian, but I loved the music; Coffee shops; Steak houses; Bars; Jazz clubs; Private House parties; Festivals, etc... There was a time that I said "yes" to every call.
Most of that work, especially during the early years, I wore no hearing protection. Being young and knowing it all, I was certain of my strength, and that I'd be immune to hearing damage. One thing was true, my youthful bravado was a myth. By the time I realized that I had lost upper register hearing definition, and also heard a constant ringing, it was too late.
Long story short, I suffer from a debilitating case of tinnitus. The clinical definition of my condition is, "A cluster of tones between 8 KHz - 9.5 KHz, ringing incessantly, bilaterally, at 87 dB." If you don't understand what that means, click here for a sample of 8K. Imagine that in your head, at the volume of a lawn mower, forever. Got it? I had figured out how to keep working for many years, and was reluctant to talk about it (fearing a loss of employment) but in addition to just making my job more difficult, the residual impact of tinnitus was causing serious mental health issues. Anxiety, irritability, and road rage were my three main difficulties. I sought help through the VA, and their tinnitus management program. Then I started seeing a counselor (which I cannot recommend highly enough!) And then I enrolled in a program called Lenire - which was expensive and frustrating, but after 14 weeks of treatment, it eventually helped me tolerate/ignore the ringing. My continued success managing tinnitus is directly connected to avoiding prolonged exposure to sound. I wear hearing aids that stream a background program which helps diffuse the intensity of the ringing, and they really do help with everyday life. On those occasions that I do take a gig, or go play at somebody's house, I wear a set of fancy active noise suppressing earplugs, which protect me from further damage.
Although not yet totally retired, I have not been able to work full time since the summer of 2023, and my transition into retirement has been slow and unwelcome. My heart still wants to play, but I need to be very selective about the settings that I agree to participate. If you have questions about my journey dealing with tinnitus - or questions about my playing career, or want to hire me for something you think I might accept, feel free to drop me a line.
Peace!
Most of that work, especially during the early years, I wore no hearing protection. Being young and knowing it all, I was certain of my strength, and that I'd be immune to hearing damage. One thing was true, my youthful bravado was a myth. By the time I realized that I had lost upper register hearing definition, and also heard a constant ringing, it was too late.
Long story short, I suffer from a debilitating case of tinnitus. The clinical definition of my condition is, "A cluster of tones between 8 KHz - 9.5 KHz, ringing incessantly, bilaterally, at 87 dB." If you don't understand what that means, click here for a sample of 8K. Imagine that in your head, at the volume of a lawn mower, forever. Got it? I had figured out how to keep working for many years, and was reluctant to talk about it (fearing a loss of employment) but in addition to just making my job more difficult, the residual impact of tinnitus was causing serious mental health issues. Anxiety, irritability, and road rage were my three main difficulties. I sought help through the VA, and their tinnitus management program. Then I started seeing a counselor (which I cannot recommend highly enough!) And then I enrolled in a program called Lenire - which was expensive and frustrating, but after 14 weeks of treatment, it eventually helped me tolerate/ignore the ringing. My continued success managing tinnitus is directly connected to avoiding prolonged exposure to sound. I wear hearing aids that stream a background program which helps diffuse the intensity of the ringing, and they really do help with everyday life. On those occasions that I do take a gig, or go play at somebody's house, I wear a set of fancy active noise suppressing earplugs, which protect me from further damage.
Although not yet totally retired, I have not been able to work full time since the summer of 2023, and my transition into retirement has been slow and unwelcome. My heart still wants to play, but I need to be very selective about the settings that I agree to participate. If you have questions about my journey dealing with tinnitus - or questions about my playing career, or want to hire me for something you think I might accept, feel free to drop me a line.
Peace!